Never Ending Campaign

Thursday, June 8, 1995

More Apologies

Subj:  More apologies
Date:  95-06-08 13:38:10 EDT
From:  JGetz


George Will: I'd like to take this opportunity right now to apologize to the
American people for running my tiresome baseball anecdotes into the ground.

Frank Zappa: I'd like to apologize to everybody for being dead. I guess you
could use me. On the other hand, there are no unions up here, the groupies
are all 18--and they don't get tired.

Billy Crystal: I wish to apologize for not being funny.

Timothy McVeigh: Sorry about that bombing op. We did a recon on that and
children present at the bomb site was not part of the mission parameters.

Robert McNamara: Mea Culpa... 58,680. Mea Culpa...58,681. Mea Maxima
Culpa...58,682. Whew.

WWII Generation: Looks like we pissed all the money away, just like that.
Turned around one day and that was it. Just pissed it all away and we're real
sorry about it. On the other hand, let's not forget who stopped Hitler.

Baby Boomer Generation: We were making money or getting high or finding
ourselves and it looks like we never got around to taking over and solving
everybody's problems like we said we would. Sorry.

Generation X: I don't have to apologize, no f***ing way. It's like you who
should apologize to me? Like you hand me like all this shit, like life, you
know, whatever. And you're like all "here's this sack of shit, it's your
problem," and I'm like "no way," and you're like "no, you're the young
generation, like we f****ed everything up, now it's your problem and what's
wrong with you, why aren't you motivated, you're just a bunch of slackers,"
and I don't even know what that means, you know, and I'm supposed to feel
like guilty or something and take everybody's shit and work minimum wage and
save the rainforests when my parents didn't even buy me the shoes I wanted,
you know?


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