Never Ending Campaign

Saturday, February 10, 1996

Call it Conspiracy 8

Subj:  Conspiracy VIII
Date:  96-02-10 13:20:45 EDT
From:  JGetz          

BART: So am I, man--the future really sucks. I hate you. You ruined my life.
Everybody talks about Generation X, but what about my g-g-generation, huh?
Nobody talks about us. What about my generation, huh, huh, huh, why don't you
answer the question, huh, you don't want to talk about us, man--we don't even
have a cool name yet. My generation really sucks and it's your fault,
man--even the bad stuff is boring. What is there?
SMITHERS: Republicans. Talk radio.
BART: You suck, man.
LISA: Bart. I think he's experienced enough pain. Leave him to his private
BART: Like...that's so easy. What are we supposed to do?
SMITHERS: Watch television.

SMITHERS lifts up the clicker, clicks it to THE ITCHY AND SCRATCHY SHOW!
Title: "Howard's Endless." CAT in boat (as LEONARD BAST), rowing--wooing
MOUSE in drag. Hearts fluttering out of CAT. Go to INT, house. CAT kneels to
propose. MOUSE rips off dress. CAT shrieks, eyes bugging out of head. MOUSE
removes sword, hacks off both the CAT's buttocks...then pulls a bookshelf on
top of the CAT as blood leaks out and BART, LISA and SMITHERS laugh.


MUSIC: “Take a Walk on the Blue Bus” by the Doors. Music fades out & generic
radio announcer’s voice begins saying: “A barely-known unemployed
screenwriter was killed today in Dallas in a burst of triangulated crossfire
in Dealy Plaza, in a bizarre recreation of the Kennedy assasination. The
screenwriter was dressed as Oliver Stone as part of a directors look-alike
costume contest--there is speculation that Stone was the intended target.
(hurriedly) Not that we’re trying to say we don’t believe in the
single-bullet theory. I mean it’s not even a theory. We’re
not...mmmpph...(sounds of scuffling, thuds)

Music up again...



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